The First Step: Building Trust with a Coaching Skeptic
November 5, 2025 | by Ginny Evans-Pollard
You don’t need to be in outer space to feel “out of it.” Stepping into leadership as a woman, especially in underrepresented spaces, can sometimes feel just as disorienting as drifting through the unknown. For those navigating education, leadership, and identity, the journey can feel vast, full of expectations, pressure, and isolation. For many women in leadership, especially those from marginalised backgrounds, the experience of exploring uncharted territory is both daunting and transformative.
When a coaching journey begins, it’s not uncommon for one or both parties to bring a healthy dose of scepticism into the room. For some, “coaching” sounds like a corporate buzzword or a luxury reserved for executives. For others, it’s uncertainty about whether the process will genuinely help, or add another layer of reflection to an already overloaded schedule.
The first session with Aisha began exactly there: with curiosity wrapped in caution. As an Assistant Head of Maths with six years of teaching experience and a strong record of mentoring others, Aisha had already developed a leadership mindset. She had participated in a CEO-led mentoring program, completed accountability-focused sessions at the start of her teaching career, and cultivated a growing vision for leadership within education. Yet, despite her experience, she entered coaching with questions:
Would this be different?
Would it be practical?
Would it be worthwhile?
Would it help her take the next step toward her aspiration of becoming a Headteacher?
Setting the Scene: Connection and Reflection
We began the session with a light icebreaker, not just to ease the nerves but to humanise the space:
“Share a fun fact about your week.”
“What’s a small win you’ve had recently?”
“Name one skill you’d love to improve this year.”
These prompts, simple as they seem, opened up a genuine connection. They shifted the tone from performance to presence, a space where Aisha could bring her authentic self, not just her professional persona.
From there, we explored her learning styles, challenges, and strengths, uncovering how ADHD shaped her leadership experience. Diagnosed through Access to Work, she had already begun identifying the unique patterns in how she processes information and manages workload. Together, we began to look not only at how she works—but why she works the way she does.
The Bigger Picture: Representation, Vision, and Ripple Effects
Aisha’s story sits at a powerful intersection. In the UK, only around 3% of school leaders are Muslim women, despite their significant presence in classrooms. Her journey, therefore, carries a generational ripple effect, not just for her own career, but for the students in some of the country’s most deprived wards, where aspirations are often limited by circumstance. In one of her previous cohorts, eight students from underrepresented backgrounds applied to the university, and all got in.
Only a small number feel they have the confidence and know-how to claim their place in a world where, in the UK, deprivation goes beyond economics: it seeps into a culture of self-doubt about whether that university place is really yours to take.
Coaching, in this sense, becomes not just a personal development tool but a vehicle for systemic change.
Confronting the Sceptic Within
Like many ambitious educators, Aisha described a familiar pattern:
“I run myself into the ground trying to prove I’m capable.”
This mindset, rooted in imposter syndrome and perfectionism, can be both a motivator and a trap. Together, we examined questions like:
How does self-belief influence your leadership? What happens when your sense of worth becomes tied to student outcomes? How can you set professional boundaries that protect your well-being and your effectiveness?
We reframed her idea of leadership from being all-consuming to being sustainable and intentional. The “teacher persona” doesn’t have to mean martyrdom. It can mean modelling balance, curiosity, and care.
Lightbulb Moments in Numeracy and Leadership
Aisha’s “lightbulb moments” came not from grand revelations, but through small reframes:
Delegation isn’t avoidance, it’s trust in your team.
Leadership isn’t about being indispensable; it’s about being influential.
Rest isn’t a reward, it’s a resource.
We also introduced positive habits to support her time management and focus, such as the Body Double technique, working alongside a colleague or friend to increase motivation and reduce distractions.
Looking Ahead: From Scepticism to Self-Trust
By the end of the session, the initial scepticism had shifted into something more constructive, discernment. Aisha wasn’t blindly “sold” on coaching; she was actively engaged in shaping it to fit her. Her vision, to become a Headteacher and drive authentic change in education, feels less abstract and more actionable. With coaching, she’s not being “fixed” or “directed”; she’s actualising her own vision through clearer boundaries, stronger self-belief, and tools to manage her ADHD and workload effectively.
Reflection
Coaching a sceptic isn’t about persuasion, it’s about partnership. It’s about meeting someone where they are, asking better questions, and creating a space where insight leads to action.
In Aisha’s case, that means leading not just from authority, but from authenticity, modelling a kind of leadership that future generations can see, relate to, and aspire toward.
Action Items:
Develop personalised strategies for workload and time management. Implement body double sessions or co-working for accountability. Reflect weekly on leadership wins and emotional energy levels. Create a boundary plan to prevent burnout.
At Empauher Coaching, we help leaders move from overwhelm to impact, especially those navigating neurodiversity, representation, and leadership in complex environments Explore our one-day intensives or Corporate training for inclusive leadership