When “Be More Social” Becomes the Problem
If you have ever been told to “just network more” or “be more social at work,” you have probably felt that familiar pressure to perform connection rather than feel it.
For many neurodiverse leaders, these expectations are not empowering; they are exhausting.
The problem is not your communication style; it is the insanity of corporate culture, where random small talk is seen as proof of leadership potential.
We are told to make conversation in crowded rooms, remember everyone’s name, and smile endlessly, even when it feels like noise.
But here is the truth: neurodiversity is not the obstacle. The system is.
1. The Myth of the “Natural Networker”
Corporate culture glorifies the “natural networker,” the person who glides through conferences, exchanging business cards and jokes with ease.
But for autistic, ADHD, or dyslexic professionals, that image feels alien.
You might zone out mid-conversation, struggle to follow group chatter, or overthink every word.
That is not failure; it is evidence that the rules of networking were designed around neurotypical norms, not human connection.
You do not need to perform charm. You just need to connect differently, and that is leadership.
2. Random Networking Is Not Real Connection
Much of corporate networking is random and shallow: “What do you do?”, “Busy week?”, “Love your lanyard.”
It is a ritual that pretends to build relationships but often just burns energy.
For neurodivergent leaders, this randomness feels chaotic.
Our brains crave purpose, depth, and shared values.
Try reframing networking as intentional connection instead of forced interaction:
Who genuinely inspires me?
Where can I bring value or learn something meaningful?
How can we co-create instead of compete?
Once you redefine it, networking stops being torture and starts being strategy.
3. Small Talk Without the Pain
You do not have to fake interest in weather patterns or weekend plans.
Small talk can be your entry point to authenticity if you reframe it.
Think of it as a soft open, not a social test.
Try conversation openers that lead somewhere real:
“What is the most exciting thing you are working on lately?”
“I have been thinking about how leadership looks different for neurodiverse people. What is your take?”
“I find conferences overstimulating. How do you usually handle them?”
You are not bad at small talk; you are simply allergic to meaningless conversation.
4. Stop Masking. Start Modelling.
In a world obsessed with “fit,” it is radical to say, “I network better in small, focused groups,” or “I need downtime between events.”
That honesty is not weakness; it is neuroinclusive leadership in action.
When you set boundaries, you are not opting out of leadership; you are redefining what leadership looks like for everyone else watching.
5. Build Your Neurospicy Network
Find or create communities that understand your rhythm, energy, and focus.
When you surround yourself with neurodivergent and neuroaffirming peers, you replace burnout with belonging.
That is when the magic happens: collaboration, creativity, and courage thrive in spaces built on mutual understanding, not social performance.
The Empauher Takeaway
- You do not need to “be more social” to be a better leader.
- You just need to stop apologising for how you connect.
- The problem is not you; it is the system expecting everyone to network like an extrovert on espresso.
- It is time to stop normalising burnout in the name of visibility and start building authentic, neuroinclusive connection instead.
Call to Action
If you’re a leader with ADHD, Autism, Dyslexia, or other forms of neurodivergence — and you’re done with performative networking, masking, or feeling out of place in corporate spaces — let’s redefine connection on your terms.
🌿 Join the Empauher Retreat: Unmasking Authentically — a restorative experience designed to help neurodivergent professionals and leaders build authentic confidence, community, and connection.
💬 Explore more about Empauher: https://empauher.com/
📅 Book a free coaching call with Ginny Evans-Pollard: Schedule your session here to discover how you can lead, connect, and thrive — without the mask.
Authentic leadership begins when you stop trying to “fit in” and start showing up as you.
Discover how neurodiverse leaders can navigate networking and leadership without masking or burnout. Learn how to build authentic, values-based connections and join the Empauher Retreat: Unmasking Authentically with Ginny Evans-Pollard.
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